A professional carpet layer had just finished laying carpet in a home. He was very happy to have it done since he had finished the job a little early and so was able to go home early. But - as he was looking over the carpet on his way out - he noticed that there was a little lump - kind of puckering up - in the corner. He was upset by this since he wanted to get home and didn’t want to take the time to rip the carpeting up. Then he noticed that his package of cigarettes was gone. Very sure of himself - convinced that he was right - the lump was his cigarettes - he thought, “That’s what the lump is.” So he hit it with a hammer and mashed it down nice and flat so the carpet was nice and flat. Satisfied, he walked out, got in his pickup, and noticed his cigarettes were on the dashboard of his truck. Then he heard the woman of the house holler out the door, “Have you seen my parakeet?” (1)

Have you ever been there? Times when we know - beyond a shadow of a doubt - no question in our minds - we’re right. How we’re looking a situation. Our position in an argument. We’re right. The only problem is that the other person - silly as this may sound - the other person also thinks they’re right. How do we get along when we know we’re right?

Look with me at Romans 14 - starting at verse1: "Now accept the one who is weak in faith, but not for the purpose of passing judgment on his opinions. One person has faith that he may eat all things, but he who is weak eats vegetables only. The one who eats is not to regard with contempt the one who does not eat, and the one who does not eat is not to judge the one who eats, for God has accepted him. Who are you to judge the servant of another? To his own master he stands or falls; and he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand. One person regards one day above another, another regards every day alike."

Let’s stop there and understand the problem Paul is addressing. The church of Rome was diverse and divided. Imagine what this would have been like - both Jews and Gentiles worshipping under the same roof. Diaspora Jews - coming from all over the Roman world - with diverse backgrounds. Jews from Judah with more of an immediate connection to their ethnic heritage. Gentiles from all over the known world - speaking different languages - with different customs - different foods.

There's this saying, "All roads lead to Rome." That was true of the Roman church. They came from all over - and seemingly the only thing they had in common was their relationship together in Jesus Christ.

Because of this diversity there were conflicts in the church. Paul highlights two. First, in verse 2: "One person has faith that he may eat all things, but he who is weak eats vegetables only."

The Jews didn't eat pork - even beef and lamb had to be kosher. So a Jew - after becoming a Christian - struggled with eating meat. Some said that the dietary laws of the Old Covenant still had to be kept. Others said that a Jewish Christian could eat anything they wanted.

Then there was the problem of eating meat that had been offered to idols. In Rome - the pagans would come to their temple to thank their god for its blessing of their lives. Then the meat used in the sacrifice of thanksgiving was sold in the butcher shop next to the pagan temple. If we wanted to buy meat in Rome the best to go was the temple butcher shop.

Some Christians said that if you ate food used in pagan religious services it was like worshipping that false god. Others said, "Oh, no. Meat is meat. The fact that someone else thinks of it as being offered to idols doesn't mean that you have to think that way. Lighten up!" So there was a problem.

The second area of conflict comes in verse 5: "One person regards one day above another, another regards every day alike."

To the Jews the Sabbath - every 7th day - was holy - the day set aside to worship God. But, the Gentiles - with all their diverse backgrounds - had other days that were holy. Some said, because Jesus rose on the first day of the week, they should worship on Sunday. Others said, every day is holy - so worship God whenever you want. So there was a problem. On what day does the church hold services?

For every viewpoint in the Roman church there were adherents - individuals and groups that advocated the opposite.

The same is true today. Each of us - without much effort - could think of a least one or more issues we struggle with as a congregation and those who are supportive or against these ideas. What role should women have in church leadership? Should a Christian drink alcoholic beverages or not? What about smoking, piercings and tattoos? What kind of clothes should we wear on Sunday morning? What kind of music is appropriate for worship? Often in a church the younger people look at the seniors as if they’ve lost it. The seniors look at the younger people like they’ll never find it.

Beyond the church - couples split over how to discipline or raise the children. What kind of schooling is best - Christian - public - home schooling? How do we spend our money? How do we deal with a boss who knows nothing?

We could go on with this. Its important that we acknowledge that what Paul is writing about doesn’t just pertain to the Roman Church. Rome only had two issues. We’ve progressed. We have more. Often we come to a point of politeness. But we remain divided.

In looking at Romans 14 - there are three major points that Paul makes that we need to keep in mind if we’re to move past divisive issues and, in reality, grow deeper in our love for each other.

First, Paul says: ACCEPT EACH OTHER

In verse 1, Paul writes: "Now accept the one who is weak in faith" The person you have a disagreement with - accept him. Literally “acceptance” in the original Greek means to love him - to receive him - to welcome him - like we’d welcome a dear friend into our home. Accept him - "not for the purpose of passing judgment" - or condemning him - or giving him a false sense of security so we can try to work on him and bring him around to our way of thinking. But in sincere love for that brother or sister in Christ - accept him.

Verse 4: "Who are you to judge - or disapprove of your brother or sister in Christ because of their viewpoint - another one of God's servants?"

There are a number of black and white absolutes that the Bible speaks plainly and precisely about - absolutes that Scripture says are wrong. For example - its wrong to steal. Gossip, slander, bitterness, covetousness are wrong. Adultery, fornication, and homosexuality are wrong.

The Bible presents several non-negotiable absolutes of our faith. For example - our need for salvation and how our salvation is accomplished. Who Jesus is as the Savior of mankind.

In these non-negotiable absolutes - the Bible tells us that we must speak the truth - that we’re called on to lovingly teach - admonish - exhort - and reprove.

But in the gray areas - where we struggle the most with loving each other - Paul says that we need to accept each other and to restrain ourselves from speaking in judgment and contempt of our brothers and sisters.

Notice something else here. In verse 1 Paul writes, “Accept the one who is weak in faith.” Another way we could express this phrase - trying to understand Paul’s point here - we could add a definite article. So that the phrase would read, “Accept the one who is weak in the faith.”

In this whole passage Paul never takes sides. We don’t know if he was pro-vegi or anti-vegi. That’s not the point he’s making. The bottom line of the division is not food or days - it’s faith. Both sides are wrong if their faith is based on what they do for God - eating or observing - rather than faith which trusts in what God has done for them in Jesus Christ.

So many people today are in this trap thinking that what we do is the bottom line of living as a Christian. Don’t get pierced. Don’t listen to that kind of music. I don’t smoke and I don’t chew and I don’t go with girls who do. We don’t do those sorts of things. And, go to church on Sunday, pray a lot, read your Bible. This is what good Christians do.

Please, let’s not misunderstand Paul on this. Holy living - living rightly before God is crucial. But the bottom line is that how we live is a response to the life and salvation that has been given to us by God in Jesus Christ. God has freed us from trying to earn our relationship with Him.

When we get so wrapped up in do this and don’t do that - when we start dividing up according to who acts more holy - according to those people who agree with us and look like us and act like us. We miss the point of what life in Jesus - of being free from being weighed down trying to earn our own righteousness - we miss out on the freedom we have in Jesus.

In another church - long ago and far away - there was a girl who we were trying to encourage to get connected with the church. Neat girl. She had some issues. She had piercings and her hair was different. She had the clothes to match. But a really neat girl. One day she showed up at church and this wonderful “christian” lady said to her, “You dress like a prostitute.” That’s why people don’t come to churches.

It would be so easy to welcome into “our” congregation only those people who fit our economic level or look like us or speak our language. The coffee time after the Service of Worship or our fellowship dinners or our home Bible studies are some the best parts of our life together as a congregation. But unless we're careful these could be the most segregated and divisive. It would be so easy to form cliques - to gravitate to our own families and friends and those who share our viewpoints and ideas - to speak behind the backs of those we disagree with - to criticize and condemn. Or, to only speak to others when we're trying to influence their opinions and change them to our way of thinking.

Paul writes - when we know we’re right - don’t beat each other up over grey areas. Stop judging and condemning each other. Accept each other -welcome each other - as believers in Jesus Christ.

Second - going on in verse 5 - Paul’s second point is that we need to SEEK TO OBEY GOD

Verse 5: "Each person must be fully convinced in his own mind. He who observes the day, observes it for the Lord, and he who eats, does so for the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who eats not, for the Lord he does not eat, and gives thanks to God."

Notice this: The church of Rome was made up of believers seeking to do what God wanted them to do - to serve God through their actions. People aren't trying to be difficult - they're just trying to do what they feel God wants them to do.

Paul's says that each person - whatever side of an issue they're on - each person needs to first be convinced that what they're doing is right before God. "Do it - eat or not eat - observe or not observe - do it in obedience to the Lord." Which means that we need to be in prayer and in the Word to understand God’s will for us.

How we’re to act doesn’t come from our church background or because we were brought up a certain way or because doing certain things a certain way just "feels right" to us. We need to find some reason in Scripture for it - some justification out of the Word of God. That’s a foundational principle of the Evangelical Free Church - the question, “Where stands it written?”

In the midst of division strange things happen to us as we pray and study God’s word. Passages like Matthew 6:15: “If you do not forgive others, then your Father [in heaven] will not forgive your transgressions.”

Or, Matthew 7:3: “Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?”

Or, Proverbs 3:5: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.”

Or, James 4:10: “Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you.”

When we pray and study - God may change our understanding of an issue. He may change our heart towards our brother and sister in Christ. And our discussions will become based on a loving desire for all of us to be in submission to God’s will for us.

The bottom line is that we very often need to back off of an issue and give each other permission to grow. No decision or viewpoint is as important as the process of allowing God’s word to work in our hearts.

Third - Paul says - REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE IN JESUS

One day a man went to his doctor with a terrible cold. After his doctor examined him - the doctor said, "I want you to go home and take a very hot bath. Then go to the window, open it, and inhale as much cold air as you can. Then go to bed. In a few days, come back and see me."

The man complained, "But, doctor, if I follow your instructions I'll catch pneumonia and I could die."

"Don't worry," said the doctor, "We can't cure the common cold, but we do have a cure for pneumonia."

Too often we're focused on curing the wrong disease - we focus on the secondary things. All these other issues - gray areas - are not as important as our relationship with Jesus Christ - and our need to encourage each other to go deeper in that relationship.

The debates we Christians get ourselves into are like two guys riding in the back of a pick-up truck. As they're traveling along they're arguing about the security of their seatbelts - the color of the truck - the tightness of the shock absorbers - and on and on. What they should be focused on is who's driving the truck.

Paul gives us two truths here to think about. First - in verse 7 - Paul writes, “For not one of us lives for himself, and not one dies for himself; for if we live, we live for the Lord, or if we die, we die for the Lord; therefore whether we live or die, we are the Lord's. For to this end Christ died and lived again, that He might be the Lord both of the dead and of the living.”

Notice the word order there. Jesus is “the Lord both the dead and the living.” From a physical perspective that’s backwards. But, spiritually it makes perfect sense. Paul’s point is that when we die to ourselves God makes us spiritually alive in Jesus Christ. So we live for the Lord. Our lives - dead or alive - are the Lord’s.

Second truth - remembering who we are in Jesus. Verse 10: “But you - you who are spiritually alive only because of God’s grace and mercy - you, why do you judge your brother? Or you again - in case you missed it the first time - why do you regard your brother with contempt? - why are you so focused on these secondary grey matters - For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. For it is written, ‘As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to Me, and every tongue shall give praise to God.’ So then each of us will give an account of himself to God.”

A woman had twins and gave them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Ahmal.” The other goes to a family in Spain and they name him “Juan.” Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.”

There is a commonality between us that Paul reminds us of. We're brothers and sisters in Christ. We're all struggling. We're all in the process. We're all subject to change. We're all trying to understand God's truth more clearly as we go along. Each of us is going to have to stand before God and give an account for how we lived our lives. God alone has that right to judge us. So who are we to judge each other?

So rather than judging each other - let's help each other. Let's encourage each other. Let's love each other. God has called us to serve with each other and share His Gospel with a world that desperately needs to see and hear that they’re loved by God and accepted by His people.

Bottom line - getting along when we know we’re right: Lighten up and get closer to God. God will take care of the rest.

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1. Charles Swindoll, Ultimate Book of Illustrations and Quotes