THE HONEYMOONERS GENESIS 3:1-13,16 Series: Till Death Do Us Part - Part One Pastor Stephen Muncherian September 20, 2009
feel like that picture?
Someone said, "A man doesn't know what happiness is
until he's married.By then it's too late."Oscar Wilde was quoted as saying, "The man who
says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took
This morning we're beginning a look at marriage.Right up
front let's agree together that marriage has its rough
not exactly polished people.Our desire - looking at marriage
- is to see more clearly God's intent for marriage -
and to see more clearly from God's word how our
marriages can keep getting better.
If you're not married what we're looking at here is
also important for you as well.I'd like to
suggest that you might know someone who is married -
or you might get married someday.What we're
looking at here focuses on why marriages work and why
they don't work.Its never too late or too early to begin living
by God's principles that make marriage work.So this
information is either going to be helpful to you
personally or to someone God may stick in your path
that needs to know what God says about marriage.
Please turn with me to Genesis chapter 1.We're going
to come to Genesis 3 in a moment - which is the
passage of Scripture we want to focus on this morning.But before
we get to chapter 3 we need to see how chapter 3 fits
to the big picture of what's going on.
In Genesis 1 God is doing what?Creating
1 is where baseball is mentioned in the Bible. "In the big
inning."Old joke.Really bad.We’re
looking at The Creation.Let's
say that together.
God is creating the heavens and earth - the sun - the
moon - 24 hour days - vegetation - fish - animals -
five days this goes on.After each day of creation God steps back -
looks at what He's created and says, "Its all
good." Day six - God
creates cattle and the creeping things.Looks at
what He's created and says, "Its all good."We're together. Right?
Genesis 1 - look with me at verse 26:Then God said - still on day six - then God said,
"Let Us make man in Our image, according to our
likeness; and let them - notice the plural - and let them
rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of
the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth,
and over every creeping thing that creeps on the
created man in His own image, in the image of God He
created him; male and female He created them."
Who's created in the image of God?Man -
generic - specifically male and female.Both are
equally the image of God.A person can point out the
obvious and not so obvious differences.But the
bottom line is that individually each - male and
female - is created in God's image.
blessed them - the male and female image of God - God
blessed them; and God said to them, "Be fruitful and
multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule
over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky
and over every living thing that moves on the earth."
God gives man - male and female - four purposes in His
- God's - creation.
Purpose number one is what?Be fruitful - Hebrew word
"parah" meaning "to prosper."Which isn't
about accumulating a lot of stuff - wealth - so much
as the quality of life we enjoy.Live in
such a way that God is going to be pleased with you.That God
will supply to you everything you need.That God
will bless your sandals off.That you will enjoy the presence
and pleasure of God in your life.
Purpose number two is what?Multiply.Hebrew word
"rabah" meaning to become numerous.Go out and
populate the planet.Parent well.Raise offspring.Teach them how to be successful.Teach them
what it means to live life with the living God.
Purpose number three is what?Subdue.Hebrew word
"kabash" meaning to put under bondage.Make the
living things of this planet serve you.
means to dominate - to supervise - manage - steward -
what God's created.Rule over the fish and birds and cattle and
The first two purposes are relational.They
focus on who we are - the quality of our relationship
lived out with God and how that relationship is passed
on to future generations.Purposes numbers three and four are
vocational.What we do
in God's creation on His behalf.
Verse 29:then God
said, "Behold - "behold" in Hebrew is "hinah" which
up and smell the coffee.Pay attention to this.This needs
to shape how you live your life.Don't miss
Behold, I have given you - who?The male
and female image of God.I have given
you every plant yielding seed that is on the surface
of all the earth, and every tree which has fruit
yielding seed; it shall be food for you; and to every
beast of the earth and to every bird of the sky and to
every thing that moves on the earth which has life, I
have given every green plant for food."And it was
I've given all of what lives on this planet to you.Top of the
food chain baby.Oh yeah.Its all yours.
Grab this - "hinah" - let it shape your thinking about
gives to man - male and female - great purposes for
our lives together - and God so desires for us to be
successful at those purposes that as He laid the
foundations of His creation He - God - has given
to us everything we need in marriage to be successful
at His purposes.
Purpose and success in marriage come from God.Say that
and success in marriage come from God."
We're together so far?Okay - drop down with me to chapter 2 -
starting at verse 15.Chapter 2 is the slo-mo frame by frame - don't
miss this - highlights of chapter 1.God filling
in some missing details from chapter 1 that we need to
grab on to.
Chapter two is The Courtship of Adam and Eve.Let's say
that together, "The courtship."
Chapter 2 - verse 15:Then - meaning while
God was doing what He was doing in chapter 1 - during
that time - then the Lord God took the man - who?The man.Singular.Creation of
male and female was a two step process.Before the
female is created - God takes man - and put
him - the
male - into the garden of Eden to
cultivate it and keep it.The Lord God commanded the man
saying, "From any tree of the garden you may eat
freely; but from the tree of the knowledge of good and
evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat
from it you will surely die."
In chapter one - both male and
female are created equally
the image of God.Both
are given the great purposes of relation and vocation.Both are
given the tools of success.
In chapter two - the slo-mo version - we see that there's
a designed order to creation.Adam comes
first - then Eve.Like the Godhead - Father, Son, and Holy Spirit
- all equally God - yet different in their roles.Within that
order the male is given the command not to eat from
the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
Hold onto that:male and female are equal in
purpose yet different in their
Verse 18:Then the
Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be
alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him."
"Suitable" is the Hebrew "neged" meaning corresponding
a pair of shoes - one left shoe - one right shoe.Each is
reflective of the intent of their creator - the
purpose for which they've been designed - to be a pair
are individually different - left and right - and yet
they correspond.Each is made for the other.Without the
other there's no pair.To work well they need to work in tandem - in
partnership - to fulfill their individual roles.
Without Eve - in marriage - Adam cannot do what God
Top Ten Reasons God Created Eve.
10. God worried that Adam would always be lost in the
garden because men hate to ask for directions.
9. God knew that Adam would one day need someone to
hand him the TV remote.
8. God knew that Adam would never buy a new fig leaf
when his seat wore out and would therefore need Eve to
get one for him.
7. God knew that Adam would never make a doctor's
appointment for himself.
6. God knew that Adam would never remember which night
was garbage night.
5. God knew that if the world was to be populated, men
would never be able to handle childbearing.
4. As "Keeper of the Garden," Adam would never
remember where he put his tools.
3. The Scripture account of creation indicates Adam
needed someone to blame his troubles on when God
caught him hiding in the garden.
2. As the Bible says, "It is not good
for man to be alone!"
1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped
back, scratched His head and said, "I can do
better than that."
We know how this goes.Right?God
brings all the animals by for Adam to name.For Adam to
realize that not one of those animals is suitable -none of
them corresponds - to him.Then God takes Adam's rib - from
the side of Adam - forms Eve - who corresponds to
brings Eve to Adam.
Verse 23:Then the
man said, "This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of
my flesh.This is the
real deal here.This is what I've been desiring.She
shall be called woman, because she was taken out of
One of the most awesome moments in a wedding is when a
groom - standing up front at the altar - can look down
the center isle - to the head of the isle - and see
his fiance for the first time - standing there - in
white - revealed in all her glory.To stand
there and realize that this is the one that God has
prepared for you and brought to you - to be your
helper suitable.There's a definite "Wow!" factor in that.
Verse 24For this
reason - for
and female corresponding to each other - brought
together by God for His purposes.
One huge reason why gay marriage is wrong - is because
God has specific purposes for marriage - procreation
and parenting being just two of them.The way
that God has designed for those purposes to be
accomplished is with a man and a woman in marriage.Not a male
and male or a female and a female.They just
For this reason a man shall leave his father and his
mother, and be joined to his wife - the unique
union of a man and women in marriage - and they
shall become one flesh.
Verse 25 - next verse - the meaning of "one flesh" - And the
man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
A husband and a wife are not just roommates - two
people who happen to be living in the same building
and raising kids together and occasionally having sex.The reality
of one flesh is a whole lot deeper than that.
There's nothing between them - nothing held back -
nothing to hide - no fear - just innocence and
openness and trust - spiritually - emotionally -
mentally - physically.There's nothing between them - no
sin - no issues in their relationship.They could
stand there in total innocence and openness before
each other and not feel the need to hide anything - naked
without shame.That's one
- oneness - on the deepest level.
Its an understatement to say that we are continually
bombarded by the culture we live in - have repeatedly
shoved in our face - the absolutely wrong message
about sexuality and marriage - a lie about male/female
relationships that is totally self-destructive.
Relationships today are about hooking up - sex - maybe
for a night - maybe for something longer.A couple
falls in lust - has sex - moves in together - might
decide to get married - maybe the female is pregnant -
all of which works for a while - and then doesn't.
Young people today - perhaps more so than any previous
generation - young people today are more experienced -
more assertive - more confident - feel more entitled -
and yet are more miserable than ever before.They keep
coming up empty.
What's left in the wake of our social enlightenment is
a growing sub-culture - soon to be the dominant
culture - of broken single parent homes - of children
living with someone they're probably not biologically
people - wounded.People who stumble into marriage unprepared and
with no clue of the purposes and success and depth of
intimacy that God has purposed for marriage
They have no clue that there can be anything
yet, they desperately crave what God offers here in
I would suggest one other thought here.Before we
get too smug.The
church doesn't seem to be doing much better.Way too
many Christian young people have attitudes about sex
and marriage that might be slightly better than what's
marriages fail with about the same consistency as
what's around us.Certainly we're not immune to our struggles in
are missing so much of what God offers us.
Grab this for yourself - married - will get married -
know someone who is married - God creating - preparing
- bringing Adam and Eve together for his awesome
- as a preparation for marriage - courtship isn't
about Adam and Eve.Courtship isn't about us.Courtship
- and so marriage - is about God - what God intends
marriage to be - about what God desires to bless us
with - for what He purposes for us to do as His image
- suitable for each other.
God's reality of courtship and marriage is what leads
to the life long "wow" factor - the intimacy and
oneness - of a married couple standing naked before
each other without shame.
Let's go on to chapter 3 - starting at verse 1 - which
is the passage we're actually looking at this morning.Chapter
3 begins The Honeymoon.Let's say
that together, "The
Verse 1:Now - meaning that
we've left the slo-mo highlights of chapter two and
we're picking up back where chapter one left off - now the
serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field
which the Lord God had made.And he said to the woman,
"Indeed, has God said, 'You shall not eat from any
tree of the garden'?"The woman said to the serpent, "From the fruit
of the trees of the garden we may eat; but from the
fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the
garden, God has said, 'You shall not eat from it or
touch it, or you will die.'"
In Genesis 2 - order of creation - Adam first then
Eve - God commands
Adam not to
eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil -
apparently located in the center of the garden.Adam - in
his role as first created - passed that command on to
Eve - who tells the Serpent what God said.
serpent said to the woman, "You surely will not die.For God
knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will
be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and
the woman saw that the tree was good for food and that
it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was
desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit
and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her,
and he ate.
Have you noticed that there are differences between
men and women.Men
can read smaller print than women.Women can
hospital patients fall out of bed twice as often as
female hospital patients.
Someone compared men to waffles.Have you
arrange things in little boxes in our minds.We
compartmentalize our thinking.Which is
why its hard for us to multitask - watch football and
listen to our wives at the same time.But if
we're focused on a task.We're focused.
The number one drive of man is to provide and to
when a waffle minded man is in the provide and protect
box he's going to do that really well because he's not
going to be aware of anything in any other box.Protect and
Women have been compared to spaghetti.Everything
in their thinking is intertwined - interrelated.Which is
why women are good at multi-tasking.They take
in and process everything simultaneously - sorting
through a lot of information and feelings and
processing all that and moving forward through life.All of
which is very relational.Valuing how things and people
The number one drive of a women is to love - to create
and experience closeness that provides security.Which is
why women make awesome mothers.Almost like
someone designed it that way.
God has blessed us - male and female - with
differences so that together in marriage we can
fulfill the purposes which God has created us for.
Eve is taking in this conversation with the serpent.The
suggestions of the serpent.The quality of the fruit as food
- that it would satisfy one's hunger and physical
beauty of the fruit - its attractive - something to be
value in gaining wisdom by eating the fruit.She's
processing all that.I'm pushing the text a bit here - but she's
driving at love - security - increased relationship -
maybe with the serpent - maybe with God - certainly
Where's Adam?She gave
also to her husband with her, and he ate.Adam - standing
there is focused on - who knows?He may have
been wondering if rulership meant bar-b-qued serpent -
provide and protect.
When the discussion comes down to the wire Adam punts
- fails to protect - to take the lead in obeying God's
"Great discussion Eve.But, bottom
line God said don't eat that.Let's go."And Eve - not
being protected by Adam - Eve takes over leadership
and provides food for Adam. "Adam.Eat the
Adam's act of disobedience to God's command "Don't
eat" we know
is the fall - the entrance of sin into the human race
- the consequence of which is death - eternal
punishment and separation from God.Which is a
discussion for a different time.
What we want to see today is how sin turns the
honeymooners against each other.Because
of sin - the differences become weaknesses - not
Verse 7:Then the eyes of both of them were
opened, they knew that they were naked; and they sewed
leaves together and made themselves loin coverings.
Effect of sin #1:Sin
enters the relationship and oneness is gone.They have
shame between them.Issues.Failure.Unfulfilled
needs and expectations.They're making loin coverings out of leaves.Instead of
openness - deep intimacy - knowing each other - they're hiding
from each other.
How often in marriage do we cover ourselves rather
than expose what we're feeling inside.
heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden
in the cool of the day and the man and his wife hid
themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the
trees of the garden.
Effect of sin #2:They're hiding
from His presence.They know they've blown it.They're
living in fear.Fear of God.Fear of death and what they may mean for them.
How practical is it to hide from God behind a tree?And yet how
often do we hide behind trees?Couples
will find anything else to busy themselves with rather
to come clean before God together and let God deal
with the issues of their relationship.
Verse 9:Then the
Lord God called to the man, and said to him, "Where
- Adam - said, "I
heard the sound of You in the garden, and I was afraid
because I was naked; so I hid myself."And He - God - said,
"Who told you that you were naked?Have you
eaten from the tree of which I commanded you not to
man said, "The woman whom You gave to be with me, she
gave me from the tree, and I ate."Then the
Lord God said to the woman, "What is this you have
the woman said, "The serpent deceived me, and I ate."
Effect of sin #3:They're hiding
woman You gave me - she gave me the fruit.Its the
Your fault for bringing me the bone of my bones the
flesh of my flesh.Some suitable helper she turned out to be.""Its the
In a sense Eve's right.The serpent put out the temptation.But it was
Eve and Adam who followed through.
Remember Flip Wilson?That'll date a few of us.Remember
Devil made me do it.
"If only my wife would do - whatever.""If only
she wasn't so...""If only he wouldn't...""If he
would just - whatever.""Why doesn't God do something about...?"
It is so easy for us to duck responsibility for our
own role - our own sin - in what's gone wrong with the
Jump down with me to verse 16 - the last part of that
verses 14 to 19 God is going through a list of curses
and effects of sin.The last part of verse 16 is s kind of summary
of these other three we just saw.
Verse 16 - last part - God said to Eve,"yet
your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule
over you."Literally - the
Hebrew has this idea:"Your desire is going to be to
control your husband.And He is going to exercise control over you."
That one statement - focused on a relationship
severely damaged by sin - is the bottom line reality
of what we struggle with as husbands and wives.
Look at this cycle - the energizing cycle.Karen and I
got these at a seminar this past summer at Mount
really clarify what God says here.
The number one need of a man is - believe it or not -
number one need of a man is respect.The number
one drive of a man is to provide and protect.As a
husband is giving himself to do that providing and
protecting thing - he needs the unconditional respect
of his wife.
The number one need of a woman is what?Love.She desires
love and relational security.Security
coming from a husband who will be there for her in the
way she needs him to be there for her -
unconditionally loving her.That love provides the
protection she needs to feel - what allows her to feel
As the husband loves his wife it motivates her to
respect him which motivates him to love her.That builds
one flesh - energizes us to do what God has purposed
and enabled us to do.
Second cycle - the weakening cycle.The
opposite - what's gone wrong with the honeymoon.Without
love - Adam protecting Eve from the serpent - Eve
insecure - reacts without respect for Adam - takes
leadership away from Adam who's let her down - and
Adam - not respected by Eve - because she's taken the
role of protect and provide - Adam reacts without love
Do you see how that just might tear apart one flesh -
weaken us for what God has purposed and enabled us to
Two really brief thoughts of application.Stay with
desires for us to be one flesh - to have the kind of
depth of intimacy that energizes us to do what God has
purposed for us to do.
real enemy here - to the being the one flesh that we
crave - the real enemy here is not our spouse.Its the
will do anything to get our focus off of God and God's
design and purpose for marriage.
We need to be honest - when we're going around on the
cycle that's tearing us apart its because we've chosen
to follow the suggestions of Satan - the serpent - to
dabble in sin - rather than to come out from behind
the tree and honestly open ourselves to God for His
healing and restoration.
In two Sundays - after Family Camp - we're going to be
coming back to marriage - looking at some practical
ways we get off of the crazy cycle and on to the
energizing cycle.But - in the meantime - think about two
you had to describe your marriage - which cycle are
you going around on?
is there in you - what sin - that needs to be opened up
to God - surrendered - confessed - that God needs to
have control over - so that you can be turning on the