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EXPECTATIONS
MICAH 6:8; GALATIANS 5:13-15
 

Pastor Stephen Muncherian
December 15, 1996


The minister of a small church believed some practical joker was kidding him as I.O.U.’s began to appear in the offering plate. But one Sunday night weeks later, the offering included an envelope containing bills equal to the total of the I.O.U.’s.

After that, the pastor could hardly wait to see what amount the anonymous donor had promised. The range in contributions was from five to fifteen dollars, apparently based on what the donor thought the sermon to be worth. One Sunday the collection plate brought a note reading, “U.O.Me $5.”

This morning we are considering our expectations and our disappointments. What causes us to experience disappointment? Most of the time it is the failure of someone or something to fulfill our expectations.

We have things all set up in our mind: the way a certain situation would work out, the way a certain person was going to respond. But it never materialized. Our wish fell fast and hard against stone-cold reality. Our desire went unfulfilled.

After hearing a few stories of disappointment they begin to sound painfully familiar. Maybe some of these sound familiar to you:

  • I’m not happy in my work. When I got the job, I never realized it would be like this.
  • Our marriage has become a so empty. On our wedding day I thought it would all be so different. It’s nothing like I imagined at all.
  • We had them over for dinner several times. They never reciprocated. We didn’t even get a thank-you note.
  • She was once a friend of mine. I reached out, helped her, loved her, and did everything I could for her. She treated me like I never existed.
  • They accepted the responsibility but they never did the job.
  • We came to this church with high hopes. Expecting great things, we threw ourselves into the program without reservation. Now we’re disillusioned with the whole thing.
  • Glad we had children? Hardly. You know, we thought having kids was going to be fun. You can’t imagine how happy we are to see them leave the nest. They really let us down.
  • Recognize any of these? - self-made bitterness, resentment, and pessimism. We need to take an honest look at this painful thorn that blurs our vision and conceives our disappointments. Expectations.

    A short while ago the Associated Press ran the story of André-Francois Raffray. Thirty years ago, at the age of 47, he worked out a real estate deal with Jeanne Calment, age 90. He would pay her $500 each month until her death, then he would be the owner of her apartment in Arles, France. This is a common practice in France, benefiting both buyers and seniors on a fixed income.

    Unfortunately for Raffray, Jeanne Calment became the world’s oldest living person. Still alive at 120, she outlived Raffray, who died in December 1995, at the age of 77. He paid $184,000 for an apartment he never lived in.

    We erect mental images which are either unrealistic, unfair, or biased. Those phantom images become our inner focus, rigidly and traditionally maintained. Leaving no room for flexibility on the part of the other person - no place for circumstantial change or surprise. We set in concrete the way things must go. When they don’t we either fall apart or grumble.... or both.

    What is realistic to expect of ourselves and others?

    Most people like to know where the boundaries are. There is a sense of security knowing the limits. Have you ever stood on a balcony on a tall building? With the railing in place it’s not so scary. Take away the railing and any sane person would back away from the edge.

    When we know the limits of what is expected of us it gives us a sense of security - of knowing that we measure up - that we are not failing to achieve some unrealistic unknown standard.

    The Bible gives us realistic expectations. This morning we would like to consider two of these expectations.

    1. WHAT GOD EXPECTS OF US (Micah 6:8)

    In Micah 6, God is reminding the Hebrew people how He has abundantly met their needs and expectations - Then God turns the discussion around to His expectations of His people.

    Consider this for your life.... If God - the almighty, holy, creator who has given life and breath to each one of us - who has redeemed us with the blood of His Son Jesus - the God in whom we trust for our daily life and eternal destiny - with His exacting standard of perfection - If God expects these things of us we should never expect more of ourselves and others than God does.

    Here are the boundaries:

    Micah 6:8: “He has shown you, O man, what is good; and what the Lord requires of you (His expectations), but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?”

    That’s a surprisingly short list. I think if any of us were God we’d tack on a few more expectations just to make the list look more impressive. Sort of a “Top Ten List of Godly Expectations.”

    First, God says that we are “to do justice.”

    We are to have a social conscience - to defend the rights of those who are weaker and who have been wronged. As Armenians - who have been persecuted throughout our history - as Christians - who have been martyred for our faith - as those who see in the Bible God’s great declarations of the worth and dignity of man - we should feel a special affinity with those who are treated unjustly and we should be the first to champion the rights of those who are stepped on.

    Second, God says that we are “to love mercy.”

    We are to be concerned with the needs of the those who cannot care for themselves. Out of a spirit of generosity and grace - as those who have experienced God’s mercy towards us - we are to step in and deliver the weaker and wronged peoples of this world.

    And thirdly, we are “to walk humbly with our God.”

    The first two expectations concern our relationship with man - they require our personal involvement with the needs of others. The third expectation focuses on our relationship with God.

    We are to live in conformity to God’s will - to live in conscious fellowship with God, exercising a spirit of humility before Him. To walk humbly before God is to agree with Him as to our sinfulness - our need for Jesus as our Savior - to receive His salvation - and to surrender our lives to Him - seeking to live in obedience to Him each day of our lives.

    The second expectation the Bible give us is this:

    2. WHAT WE SHOULD EXPECT OF OURSELVES (Galatians 5:13-15)

    Galatians 5:13-15: “For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love be servants of one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ But if you bite and devour one another take heed that you are not consumed by one another.”

    A traveler nearing a great city asked an old man seated by the road, “What are the people like in this city?”

    The man replied, “What were they like where you came from?”

    “A terrible lot,” the traveler reported. “Mean, untrustworthy, detestable in all respects.”

    “Ah,” said the old man. “You will find them the same in the city ahead.”

    Scarcely had the first traveler gone on his way when another stopped to inquire about the people in the city before him. Again the old man asked about the people in the place the traveler had just left.

    “They were fine people, honest, industrious, and generous to a fault. I was sorry to leave,” declared the second traveler.

    Responded the wise one, “So you will find them in the city ahead.”

    Paul says that when we expect more of ourselves than God does - when we expect more of others than God does - when we hold ourselves to a higher standard than God - we will be disappointed - there is no way we can measure up.

    And the result is tragic. As our toleration level is reduced, our willingness to accept each others’ imperfections or less-than-ideal circumstance is short circuited. And, worst of all, the delightful spontaneity of a friendship is strained. The chain of obligation, held together by expectation, binds us in disappointment.

    Paul says that we bite and devour one another - we begin to consume one another.

    Church - we need to “lighten-up” - to give each other stretching space - freedom to be whom God has called us to be.

    Turn to the person next to you and share that with them: “lighten-up.”

    When we trust Jesus as our Savior - turn our lives over to Him - God sets us free from the expectation that we must achieve righteousness - holiness - sinlessness on our own. Our righteousness - our measuring up - our meeting the expectations of God is found in Jesus Christ. We are set free from unrealistic expectations - expectations we could never fulfill.

    We are set free - in Christ - to fulfill a more realistic expectation.

    Here is the expectation - “through love be servants of one another” - “love your neighbor as yourself.” The whole law of God - the expectations of God as to how we live together - will be fulfilled if we love each other with the same commitment and zeal with which we love ourselves.

    We need to give each other the room to respond and react in a variety of ways, even as our infinite Creator molded a variety of personalities. This means that we will need to burn our list of expectations. For some of us, it could make quite a bonfire. It will also mean that we stop anticipating the ideal and start living with the real - which is always checkered with failure, imperfection, and even wrong. So instead of biting and devouring one another, let’s support individual freedom as we serve one another in love.

    PRAYER

    Dear God. Thank you for your mercy, grace, lovingkindness, and patience. Thank you for your boundaries and expectations. We know what you desire from us. Its not a guessing game - not knowing what to do and being held accountable to do it. Help me to lighten up on my expectations of others. We all need to do our best for you. But, help me to allow others room to fail. Help me to be gracious and merciful to others - especially when they don't live up to my expectations. Help me not to expect more of myself and others than you do.