When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything, cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home, including the curtain rods.

This morning we’re beginning a series of sermons focused on relationships. The picture for this series - that you’ll find on the Sermon Notes - is a little dead cupid that’s been shot in the back with an arrow. The reality - when it comes to relationships - the reality is that at one time or another most of us have felt like that little cupid. That little cupid is an acknowledgement that what we’re about to look at - way too many relationships are toxic - hurtful - harmful.

The purpose of this series is to look at relationships and to see what God says about our relationships - how to move through them - survive them - grow through them - even triumph in them - all to the glory of God and our well being.

Please turn with me to Ephesians 5. This morning we’re going to be looking at verses 1 to 21 and what Paul writes there about our relating to the world - with all its philosophies and religions and cultures - our relationship with the world we live in.

Ephesians 5:1: Therefore - hold onto that wherefore and we’ll come back to it - Therefore, be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.

 The “therefore”refers back to everything Paul has written so far in this letter to the Ephesians - chapters 1 to 4. He’s been reminding the church that they were dead in sin - without hope - in bondage to Satan - living life under Satan’s control - destined for eternity without God. And yet - Paul has written - God - because of His incredible grace and mercy and love - made them - the Ephesian church - to be alive - raised them from death to life through the death and resurrection of Jesus.

“Therefore” - here in verse 1 - is a continuation of that thought. The Ephesians - and each of us - beloved of God - made alive in Jesus - we’re to live life with God - in His love - in the fullness of all that God offers us through Jesus Christ. Chapter 5 is about how to live life as the beloved of God.

Paul begins with a warning. Verse 3: But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints

Immorality is the Greek word “porneia.” Its related to the word we get pornography from. It’s a broad term that covers all kinds of sexual misbehavior from sex outside of marriage to prostitution.

“Impurity” is anything that’s obscene.

The Greek word for “greed” can be translated “covetousness.” The way Paul uses it here it has the idea of coveting someone else’s body - passion - lust for someone as an object of sexual self-gratification.

All that - Paul says - is not “proper among saints.” “Proper” - literally means that its a disgrace. Its defiling. Its self-destructive behavior that ultimately will destroy you. Definitely not what God has in mind for His people.

Verse 4: and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting - crude and rude jokes about sex - seemingly innocent flirtations - suggestive behavior - which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.

Let’s be clear on this. Paul isn’t telling us to never talk about sex. “Good Christians don’t talk about that subject.” What Paul is writing about is what’s “not fitting.” It’s the distortions. It’s the inappropriate - worthless - stuff that gets passed around that has absolutely nothing to do with God’s plan for sexuality and marriage. God’s plan for sexuality and marriage is something to give thanks for - what we should be talking about. What Paul is condemning is far less than that. Are we together?

Verse 5: For this you know with certainty - without a doubt - that no immoral or impure person or covetous man - covetous is like greed in verse 3 - lust for the body of someone else - that no man - who is an idolater - someone who’s making an idol out of someone else’s body - no one who is repeatedly - shamelessly - doing these things - has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.

A person who has a relationship with God through Jesus Christ - who is destined for eternity with God - doesn’t live life that way. Christians have no business being a part of any sexually immoral behavior.

Verse 6: Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.

When Paul writes about the wrath of God he’s not writing about God sitting in front of a computer screen watching what goes on down here. And God’s got these options He can click on like plague or hurricane or disease or lightening strike. A prudish God zapping people because they get out of line sexually.

The wrath of God - that Paul is writing about here - the wrath of God is a reality that’s tied to the curse God spoke on to the world back when Adam and Eve sinned. Its a part of living in a fallen - rebellious - God rejecting - world. When we break God’s commands we open ourselves up to that wrath.

Sexual promiscuity comes with fine print - the dehumanizing and disorientating of ourselves as God’s image - what it means to be man or woman. Through sexual promiscuity we open ourselves up to disease - unplanned pregnancy - neurotic behavior - mental illness - anxiety - emptiness - shattered families - economic hardships - the growing immorality and disintegration of society. A lot of what we see going on around us today. Yes?

Verses 3 to 6 are a huge warning to us about how we are to relate to the world we live in. Paul writes, “Let no one deceive you.” Grab onto the disastrous reality of what’s really going on. Bottom line: Don’t be deceived. Say that with me, “Don’t be deceived.” Don’t let the world suck you in.

Years ago I worked at Mount Hermon with a group of really talented people. One of them shared a song that I’d like to share with you. Imagine yourself at Junior High camp. And as you’re listening - think about peer pressure and how we get sucked into going along with crowd and wondering why we do the things we do.

The Peer Pressure Song   AUDIO

My Friends and me down at the corner store,
    They’re filling their pockets while I watch the door.
I thought that was going a bit too far,
    But my hand reached out for a Snickers Bar.

Don’t know why I took it,
    Chocolate gives me zits.
Don’t know why I took it,
    All those peanuts are the pits.
But I wasn’t gonna’ be the only one,
    Not to go along.
Don’t want to stand alone if I can sit with the rest.
Who cares if I’m wrong.
Who cares if I’m wrong.

Oh I’m a robot.
I’m a robot.
And I’ve been programmed by the world.
And if everyone was female,
    Then I’d probably try to be a girl.

Everybody’s wearing these ugly new shoes,
    They come in ugly reds of assorted hues.
Got to get some quick I said with a laugh,
    I’ve gotta’ find me a pair in a 10½.

Don’t know why I bought ‘em,
    I look like a goon in red.
Don’t know why I bought ‘em,
    Should have got a pair of Nikes instead.
But I wasn’t gonna’ be the only one,
    Without those shoes on my feet.
Don’t want to stand alone if I can sit with the rest.
I gotta’ be me.
Oh, I gotta’ be me.

And when the world says jump,
    I say how high.
And if ugly was in,
    I’d probably give it a try.
You may be wondering if I’m sane,
But, I’m not nuts I’m just a Jello brain.

Have you heard about the latest thing,
    Jumpin’ from buildings wearing Styrofoam wings.
So I’m off tonight, hope the wings don’t sag,
    Or, they’ll be scraping my guts into a plastic bag.

Don’t know why I’m gonna’ do it.
    Man I’m afraid of heights.
Don’t know why I’m gonna’ do it,
    A boo boo would shut out my lights.
But I’m not gonna’ be the only one,
    To try and use my head.
Don’t want to stand alone if I can sit with the rest.
Who cares if I’m dead.
Big deal if I’m dead.

Let’s be honest, its easy to get sucked in by the world. To find ourselves doing and thinking things that we know we shouldn’t be involved with.

Jesus - instructs His disciples to pray, “Do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil.” (Matthew 6:13a) Remember that? “Do not lead us into temptation” is an acknowledgment that we’re already surrounded by temptations. We don’t have to be led there. We’re already there.

Last week I turned on KCBS to listen to the top of the hour news. An ad came on for a TV program. Some guy was propositioning a woman, “Can I come and share your bed with you?” The women replies, “As long as my fiancé doesn’t mind.” The guy replies, “I hope your fiancé is a good looking woman.” That was suppose to be funny. That’s just a little sound bite. Something to peak our interest in the program while listening to the news.

We know this. We’re getting buried under an constant - insidious - avalanche of sexual crud that pours in at us from every direction in our society. Popular secular music is pornographic. Hollywood is churning out tons of movies that soft-sell pornography. TV programs relentlessly present as normal, ungodly attitudes about sexuality. Forget the programs - the commercials are bad enough. “You’ve got mail” can bring all kinds of problems into our home.

Walking through the check out line at the supermarket means passing through a gauntlet of pornography. Just about every day the Sun-Star has a picture of some scantly clad women in it that we’re suppose to be impressed by. In the mall here in Merced - there’s life size pictures of women in skimpy underwear and clothing - just hanging in the store windows. On and on it goes. Its relentless.

Understand - Paul could have written about how business is conducted. The pressure to compromise God’s standards and do business the way the world does business because that’s the way its done. Or, he could have written about having a consumer mentality - the pressure of our society to spend selfishly regardless of God’s priorities for our lives. He could have written about patterns of speech where every other word is a swear word - a colorful metaphor. Any one of those and other struggles can suck us in - some we may be involved with that we’re not even aware of. Paul choose sexuality. Perhaps because its so visible.

In Ephesus there was a temple dedicated to the goddess Diana. It was one of the wonders of the ancient world - a massive complex that brought tourists from all over. The worship of Diana was made possible by a multitude of young priests and priestesses who gave their bodies to whoever paid the price. The whole city accepted the kind of immorality that Paul is writing about. They accepted it as an act of worship. It was normal. It was proper.

Paul warns the Ephesians about sexuality immorality because they were confronted with it every single day of their lives. Does that sound familiar? As the Ephesians visibly understood Paul’s point - in a similar way we read what Paul wrote and understand.

Grab Paul’s point: The world is going in a totally different direction than God. Example: Sexually. You all - before you came to life in Jesus - you all lived that way. You were going in that direction. But you know better now. You know life - real life - the way, the truth, the life in Jesus Christ. Beloved of God - don’t let the world deceive you. Don’t let it suck you in. Don’t let it pull you back to what leads to destruction.

We need to heed Paul’s warning. This was a real danger to our siblings in Ephesus. Its a real danger for us today.

Barna - the researcher - published a survey recently. Here’s what he found. Of born again believers - people saying they believe what we profess to believe - of born again believers only 32% believe in moral absolutes. Among born again teenagers - this is the next generation growing up in the church - among born again teenagers only 9% believe in moral absolutes. That statistic is nearly identical to that of non-born again teens.

Barna found that substantial numbers of Christians view as acceptable such activities as abortion, gay sex, cohabitation, drunkeness, and viewing pornography. Comparing the church today verses 10 years ago the trend is towards the world. Quoting Barna, “When a majority of Christian adults, as well as...born again teens proudly cast their vote for moral relativism, the Church is in trouble.” (1)

Do you hear a sucking sound? We need to get this. We are in a spiritual battle with eternal consequences. Satan and his minions are working overtime to suck us in. They would love to see us in a relationship with this world where the end result is like that little cupid - where we're face down with an arrow stuck in our back dead and the church is totally taken out of the battle.

Two truths of application.

First - starting in verse 7: Therefore - because we don’t want to get sucked in - Therefore do not be partakers with them;

To partake - in Greek “metochos” - to partake is to become a business partner - a business associate - people tied together by agreement for common goals. Beloved - don’t be bind yourself to the world like that.

Verse 8: for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord - the business contract with the world has been broken by Jesus - so - walk - live - as children of Light (for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth), trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord.

Verse 11: Do not participate - to participate is “koinonos.” Does that sound familiar? Same root word for “koinonia” - the word we get fellowship and communion from. Beloved - don’t allow yourself to get into a close fellowship with the world by participating - in unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them; for it is disgraceful even to speak of the things which are done by them in secret. But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light.

When we have fellowship we feel affinity - closeness. We tend to protect and nurture that fellowship - to value it. We can treat sin is like that. We can’t tolerate sin. Hide it. Make excuses for it. Dwell on it. Entertain thoughts of it. Even partner with it - willingly bind ourselves with it.

But, Paul warns us - sin needs to be dealt with - brought out into the light of God’s truth - confessed - asked forgiveness for and turned away from. Otherwise - those little sins we keep to ourselves become a foothold for the enemy. A opening for the world’s deceptions to take root in our hearts - a partnership - a fellowship - leading to disaster.

Verse 14: For this reason it says, “Awake, sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”

Paul’s first truth of application: WAKE UP! Say that with me, “Wake up!” Nudge the person sleeping next to you. Tell them that, “Wake up!”

We need to wake up to the absolute seriousness and precariousness of our situation. Its life or death. Think about that little cupid. We have a choice. Rise up - turn away from what’s death - turn away from sin - turn to life with Jesus.

Second truth of application - verse 15: Therefore - because we don’t want to get sucked in - Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil.

Truth number two: WALK WISE! Say that with me, “Walk wise.” Because what’s happening around us is evil.

Verse 17: So then do not be foolish - here’s how you walk wise in evil times - three points.

First - verse 17: understand what the will of the Lord is.

The word “understand” has the idea of taking two things and making e them one. Like taking two colors of play dough and molding them together so there’s no way to tell which was which. To understand is to take God’s truth - namely the Bible - His will for how we’re to live life - and stick it with the experiences of our lives in such a way that God’s truth - how we’re to live life - guides us integrally at core of who we are so as we go through the experiences of our lives we live according to God’s will.

A Christian - living here on earth - we never come to the end of studying God’s word - meditating - memorizing - discussing - being taught - learning His truth. We never come to the end of prayer - and seeking His application of His word to our lives. To neglect our pursuit of understanding would be foolishness - an opening for Satan and his world system to suck us in.

Second: Verse 18: And do no get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit.

Dissipation is a lifestyle that never satisfies. Getting drunk never satisfies our deepest needs. Being “filled with the Spirit” is about God’s life within us - about God supplying what we need for life.

Ultimately it’s a question of control. When a couple dances someone has to lead - or at least people used to dance that way. Someone has to lead the couple through the steps of the dance. When we give ourselves over to wine - or some other addiction or empty pursuit - the wine is in control - leads us along the empty pursuits of the world - ultimately to destruction.

Being filled with the Spirit - placing ourselves under the control of the Spirit - is different.

I start off my day with a list of things I’m going to do and rarely does my day go the way I planned. The phone rings - someone stops by - an emergency comes up - the computer rebels - the car breaks down. Been there?

I get to the end of the day and I’m feeling frustrated and empty because I haven’t been able to get my list done. All the things and pursuits that I think are important for me to do.

Hear this: Life isn’t a “to do” list. Life is about living in the Spirit - living life focused on God and pursuing His agenda for our lives. When we get knocked off our “to do” list we begin learn to live life in the Spirit - relying on Him - knowing His sufficiency - hearing His voice - following His prompting - exhibiting His gifts - learning to live in a growing intimate relationship with God. We begin to live wisely - becoming focused on being the men and women that God has created us to be.

Third point about walking wise in evil times. First: Understanding God’s will. Second: Being filled with the Spirit. Third: Speaking together - verse 19: speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father;

Have you ever heard birds chattering - on and on and on? Just chirping away incessantly. Chirp! Chirp! Chirp! Chirp! Chirp! Hard to ignore. Often pleasant to listen to. That’s the idea here with this word “speaking.” Constant chattering. Constantly speaking.

Constantly be speaking to each other with songs from the Book of Psalms - which is what psalms refers to - with hymns - songs that praise Jesus - with spiritual songs - spontaneous songs that flow out of our hearts. Constantly be speaking to each other with thanksgiving for God’s sufficiency and presence in your lives. Remind each other of His blessings and how He’s taken you through life.

Verse 20: and be subject to one another in the fear of the Christ. Mutual accountability - which isn’t about pointing out each other’s sins. Its about encouragement through difficult times.

Do see what Paul is getting at here? Walking wisely means constantly being focused on God. When stuff comes up in life that Satan would use to get our focus off of God - to suck us in to the world’s way of doing life - we need each other. To confess our struggles to. Constantly lifting each other up with words of praise. Constantly reminding each other of what God has done - is doing - will do.

The assault by the world is relentless. Our use of time should be relentless - understanding God’s will - being filled with the Spirit - speaking words to one another that keep us focused on God.

There’s that little cupid with shot in the back. There’s a crucial seriousness to what Paul warns us about. We need to be awake. We need to be wise. It is never too late to wake up and walk wisely.

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1. www.barna.org