We are exploring the question:  What is a healthy church?  What does “healthy church” look like in the real time of where we live our lives.

We’ve been looking at Paul’s first letter to Timothy.  Paul - as he’s writing about various issues that were ongoing in the church in Ephesus and in Timothy’s life - as Paul is giving instructions about all that Paul has been describing what are real time vital signs of a healthy church.  Meaning when we see these things lived out in the day-to-day life of the congregation - diagnosis “that’s healthy.”

Some of those vital signs are essential non-negotiables.

Living together under the authority of Bible.  The Bible being the inspired word of God.  Preaching that’s expositional - that exposes the word of God.  Takes a passage of the Bible and explains and applies it to our lives so that we can live together under its authority.

We must have a clear understanding of the Gospel.  The Trinitarian God choosing to save us.  Jesus - fully God - fully man - through His work on the cross taking care of what needs to be taken care of to make right our relationship with God.  Because we’re sinners - separated from God - in desperate need to welcome by faith what God - by His grace - has done for us.

Understanding the Gospel also meaning that we live displaying God’s glory and carrying His gospel in the world around us - to others who are also desperate for what God offers to them.

Some vital signs are essential.  Essential meaning without these the body is dead.

And some are important but not essential.  Important meaning that - like when we’re sick we want to move towards good health - so if one of these important vital signs is an area where we’re struggling - there’s still life and there’s also room for improvement and growth - movement towards health.

Which are signs that we’ve looked at - like love, faith, Godly men, Godly women, Godly leadership, how we each live out our unique God given roles together and our levels of commitment to being the Creekside congregation.

This morning we are coming to another important vital sign with a lot of potential for us.  The vital sign of caring.

Have you ever felt like this?

Para servicio in español por favor marke dos ahora.

I’m sorry, I didn’t understand your response.  Please press 4 repeatedly.  It won’t do you any good.  But it might make you feel better.

Sound familiar?

Press 11 if you would like to converse with a person who’s English you can’t possibility comprehend.

Sometimes it seems like customer service only happens because companies are concerned about their bottom line.  They just want us to keep buying their product.

In this world - where the emphasis is on self - and communication happens at internet speeds - where people are supposedly interested in talking with you but the whole time they’re talking with you they’re texting someone else (ever had that happen?) - there’s something hugely valuable about being able to speak to someone face to face and communicate in real time - to genuinely care about the person we’re connected to and have them actually care about us.

Genuinely caring for people here and for people around us - caring for others is hugely important in the Body of Christ.  Which, in a lot of ways we can give each other high fives and fist bumps.  Your choice.  Give the person next to you a high or fist bump and tell them “Good job.”

There’s some good caring going on here at Creekside.  So this morning we have an opportunity to check in with Doctor Paul and see how we’re doing and to process some potential for growth.

1 Timothy 5 - starting at verse 1:  Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity. 

Verses 1 and 2 are The Big Picture of where Paul is focusing us in this section.  Caring that is generational.

Relationships between the generations is something even the best of us struggle with.  Differing perspectives - attitudes - likes and dislikes - issues in our lives.  Familiarity with technology.  Trying to understand where each of us is coming from.  Struggle happens in the home - parents and children - youth - at work.

We struggle with these relationships in the midst of an American society where love is selfish - focused on what we gain not on what we can give.  Youthfulness is exalted.

Often the church doesn’t handle generations well.  There’s an intergenerational struggle.  One generation thinks the other generation will never get it.  The other generation thinks the other generation lost it a long time ago.  You decide what generation you belong to. 

There was a generational disconnect in Ephesus where Timothy was pastoring.  We’ve touched on some of this in past Sundays.  Men - desiring to be thought of as elders - to be seen as older - more mature spiritually - to be held in high regard as leaders in the church - these men were teaching all kinds of ungodly teachings.

Timothy - who was probably about 30 - who in that culture was considered young - Timothy who was a half-breed - part Jewish part Greek - Timothy was called on to pastor that church - even to speak against all that false teaching.  These older men were making it really really difficult for Timothy.  It’s not a stretch to believe that what was coming against Timothy was pretty personal. 

We need to hold onto this truth:  The generations that exist in the fellowship of the church exist to strengthen that fellowship - to strengthen each other - to help us do ministry together.  God designed it that way.

Timothy is to treat older men as fathers - with respect for their experience - understanding - and wisdom.  Younger men are treated as brothers.  Older women as mothers.  Younger women as sisters - with no romantic involvement.

Praise God that much of what happens here at Creekside happens between generations.  Youth are respected as the church - not as lesser than.  Adults are respected as having been around the block a few times - and that’s a good thing.

That’s big picture thinking...

How we care for each other as generations in Jesus demonstrates the reality of His gospel in our lives.  Let’s repeat that together, “How we care for each other as generations in Jesus demonstrates the reality of His gospel in our lives.”

Caring that’s generational demonstrates the health of a congregation.

Paul - in what he writes next - Paul takes one of these generational relationships - Caring For Widows - and uses that relationship as an example - as a challenge for us - of how we can care for and honor and love each other.

Read with me verses 3 to 10:  Honor widows who are truly widows.  But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God.  She who is truly a widow, left all alone, has set her hope on God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day, but she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives.  Command these things as well, so that they may be without reproach.  But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.  Let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than sixty years of age, having been the wife of one husband, and having a reputation for good works:  if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work.

In his book of lamentations - Jeremiah looks at Jerusalem - conquered by the Babylonians.  Jeremiah says Jerusalem is like widow.  She was a princess.  She was great among the nations.  Now, she’s empty.  Lonely.  Desolate.  Ruined.  Despised.  She remembers they way it was.  Now she weeps bitterly at night.  She has no one to comfort her.  Her friends have turned on her.  They’ve become her enemies.  No one helps her.  (Lamentations 1:1ff)

Which can be the sad reality of widowhood - especially in the times that Paul is writing.

Healthy baby boys were prized.  Healthy baby boys extended the families wealth and power.  Unhealthy boys and daughters were abandoned. Women were valued because of their ability to produce children - preferably sons - heirs.   What was the value of a women who outlived her usefulness as a baby bearer?  Not much.

Widows were probably the most vulnerable group in the congregation.  Younger widows - whom Paul is coming to in verse 11 - younger widows were probably next in line.  When a women lost her husband she lost her social and economic position.  If a widow had no children her precarious position was even more precarious.

There was no life insurance income - no annuities - no social security - no job opportunities.  It was very easy to become alone and desperate.  Widows basically had nothing.

In Acts 6 - we read that the church wrestled with this issue.  Remember this?  The Greek Jews complained to the apostles against the Hebrew Jews that the Greek Jews’ widows weren’t being taken care of when it came to the daily distribution of help.

There are deep cultural and racial divisions in all that.  Divisions between Hellenized Jews - Greek speaking - many from the diaspora - and ethnically pure - Aramaic speaking Hebrew Jews from Palestine.  Maybe the widows were simply overlooked because one group tended to stick to their own kind of Jews.  Maybe they were part unintended victims of a much larger conflict.

But point being - the issue was important enough to the early church that it get  brought to the attention of the Apostles and it gets recorded in the Book of Acts.

Apparently there was a list of widows along with the qualifications or requirements for being put on that list.  Resources that were being allocated - some kind of pension fund that was being maintained and the widows were being supported.  Some were being neglected. 

Solution:  Have the larger congregation - made up of both groups - choose 7 Greek Jews to make sure all the widows were being cared for.  (Acts 6:1-7)

Bottom line - big picture thinking:   Even with what seemingly might be larger issues to deal with we need to help these widows.  Not should we.  But how can we. 

Paul begins his example with Older Widows.

Paul writes - verse 3 - Honor widows who are truly widows.  This is something we must do.  A significant priority for the early church.  Caring for widows demonstrates the reality of the Gospel - displays the character of God to the world.  It pleases God.

Who do we help?  Who really needs the help?  What qualifies a widow to be on the list?  Paul gives five qualifications - beginning with older widows.  Those who are “truly widows.”

First qualification - they have to be really on their own.  Verse 4:  But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God.

Before the church should be expected to care for a widow - so far as it’s possible - it’s up to the family to take care of their own family.  It’s unthinkable - shameful - for a senior in the Body of Christ to be abandoned by their own family. 

We saw this in the places mom was living as we interacted with the other residents and the staff.  The sad realities for most residents of assisted living or convalescent homes - most (actually the vast majority) - is how few of them have family members who visit…  at all.  Seniors are abandoned and warehoused in “homes.”  Seniors are seen as those who have outlived their usefulness.

In contrast to the selfish disintegrating society around us - Godly children honor their parents - give back to their parents - caring for them when they can’t care for themselves.  That’s what God’s people do.  And then, if there’s no one to do that, the Church needs to step up.

Qualification number two:  widows are to be pursuing Godliness.  Verse 5:  She who is truly a widow, left all alone, has set her hope on God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day, but she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives.  Command these things as well, so that they may be without reproach. 

Not too many years ago when I graduated from high school I spent my first year of college at a junior college - Cañada College in Redwood City.  What was sad - was seeing someone in their 30’s or older - sometimes in their 50’s - endlessly taking basic classes at a junior college - acting with maturity of a high schooler - going no where in life.

The more things change the more they… stay the same.

There are a ton of people moving sideways through life.  Even here in Merced.  People that are always thinking about things.  Always have an opinion.  They’ll tell you all about life.  Like they’ve got some great mature insight.  But ultimately they’re just existing. 

There are people in the church that are moving sideways through life.  That are just spiritually existing.  If not atrophying.  Kind of a slow hardening of the spiritual arteries.

People that have been around for years.  They know a lot.  They can talk a great talk.  They have opinions about things.  But seemingly there’s no evidence of forward movement in their relationship with Jesus.  No evidence of God at work in and through them.

Godliness - like what Paul is writing about here - godliness isn’t just what we say we believe.  Godliness is how we live what we believe.  It’s the day-to-day of how we live out our relationship with God - striving for holiness of character - righteousness - living with and growing in conduct appropriate to one claiming to know God.

Godliness doesn’t happen because we get older.  It doesn’t happen because we spend time in and around Christians or because our parents were Christians or we were raised in a Christian home.  It doesn’t happen because we know a lot of things about Christianity.  It doesn’t happen because of our position in the church or the number of years we’ve been attending.

A Godly widow - or widower - Paul writes - she sets her hope on God.  Sets her hope on who?  God!  She’s trusted in Jesus as her Savior - committed her life to Him.  She’s faithfully - hopefully - looking forward to eternity with Him.

One of the saddest things to hear from a widow or widower - to hear them say when their spouse dies, “I have no purpose in life.”  It may feel like it.  But it just ain’t true.  Set our hope on God and all of us have purpose until till the day we graduate to face-to-face with God.

The pursuit of a godly widow is not wanton pleasure - to live in an expensive house - drive around in expensive cars - playing bridge or canasta with the ladies - taking trips and cruising the Caribbean - focused on herself. 

Widowhood focused on God is a great opportunity - with great purpose and usefulness and healing.  When a widow made a commitment to be put on the list she committed herself to deepening her relationship with God and to ministry for Him.

She has a ministry of prayer.  “Supplications” - in Greek means prayers for specific issues.  “Prayers”  in Greek has to do with worship - a heart open to God and continually before Him in prayer.  She knows the needs of the congregation.  She’s involved in people’s lives.

Dad passed in 2003.  Mom - as a widow - through all of what she was going through - even the Alzheimer's - mom never lost her faith in Jesus.  One thing about my mother that I will cling to until the day I see her again is that she knew Jesus and sought to follow Him through life.  She lived looking forward to being with Him forever.  That faith was clearly visible in how she served God by how she loved others. 

How incredibly valuable are those that we of the younger generation can look up to as an example of Godliness.  That out of their spiritual maturity will care for us - mentor us - disciple us.

So many younger women would love to have a confidant to pray with them.  An older sister to look to as an example of Godly womanhood.  Younger men would love to look to an older women as a mother - someone to pray for them and encourage them.  To have an older man to look up to as an example of Godliness.

Godliness is produced in us by the Holy Spirit as we learn to live in daily - total - consistent - obedient - unbroken fellowship and continued dependence on God.  Godliness comes as we allow God to work in us - through us - changing us to be more and more like Jesus - reflecting His character as we do life.

Godliness comes from a serious examination of God’s word - meditation - allowing the Holy Spirit to show us from His word where we need to change.  That means personal times of Bible study that are regular - purposeful - deepening.  Not just something we do when we feel like it or can squeeze it in.  Or we settle for someone else’s story about a verse and their thought for the day.

As we lay hold of God’s word - pretty soon - with the working of the Holy Spirit - God’s word lays hold of us.  Grabs on and begins to change us from the inside out.

All of which doesn’t change just because we’re a widow or widower.

Third qualification - verse 9.  We’re going to come back to verse 8 in a bit.  But, going on with Paul’s qualifications - number three - verse 9:  Let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than sixty years of age.

The average life expectancy in America today if you’re a woman is 81.6 years.  If you’re a man it’s 76.9 years.  Sorry to tell you if you’re already there.

By the way, we’re number 31 on the list world wide.  Number one?  Currently Japan at 86.8 for women and 80.5 for men.  Point being:  Retire in Japan.  You’ll love longer.

In Paul’s day people generally didn’t live to be 70 or 80.  Sixty was way out there.  Paul’s point being that a widow didn’t have a whole lot of time left.  But in the time she did have left she was devoted to ministry.

Fourth qualification - verse 9 - having been the wife of one husband - meaning that she’s a one-man woman.

Divorce happens.  Death happens.  She may have been married more than once.  But, this woman - when married - was faithful and supportive of her husband.

Fifth - verse 10 - having a reputation for good works.

Paul gives a description of what that reputation - noticeable ongoing pattern of life - what that reputation for good works looks like in real time:  if she has brought up children - which speaks of her being a godly mother.

If she:  has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints…

People wore sandals not shoes.  When someone showed up at the house someone had to wash their feet.  Yeech.  A dirty and disgusting job.  It says a lot about the character of a woman if she was known to be willing to do this.

Going on - has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work.

Five qualifications for widows to be put on the list.  They need to be really alone.  They need to be women of God.  At least 60 years old.  Faithful to her husband.  And, fifth - having a reputation for good works.

Coming to verse 11 - Paul is going to focus his example on Younger Widows.  The under 60 crowd.

Let’s read verses 11 to 15 together:  But refuse to enroll younger widows, for when their passions draw them away from Christ, they desire to marry and so incur condemnation for having abandoned their former faith.  Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not.  So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander.  For some have already strayed after Satan.  If any believing woman has relatives who are widows, let her care for them.  Let the church not be burdened, so that it may care for those who are truly widows.

Verse 11:  But refuse to enroll younger widows…  Two reasons.

Reason number one:  for when their passions draw them away from Christ, they desire to marry and so incur condemnation for having abandoned their former faith. 

To be put on the list to be cared for as a widow by the congregation meant living as a widow - in godliness - making a commitment to faithfully live by the qualifications above.  Qualifications that required ongoing celibacy and a commitment to the ministry of the church.

Younger widows had the very real possibility of marriage.  There was a very real - and understandable - possibility that their desires for love and marriage would overcome their dedication to their commitment to living out being a godly widow.

People are going to condemn them for going back on their commitment.  So don’t put them on the list in the first place.

Reason number two - verse 13:  Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not. 

Young women - with all kinds of time on their hands - supported by the church - we’re destined to get themselves into trouble.

Paul’s solution - verse 14:  So - because it’s way too easy for a younger widow to get herself in trouble - So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander.  For some have already strayed after Satan. 

Which - if we weren’t careful and trying to understand what Paul is really getting at - these two verses could really create some problems.

Ephesus was a perversion driven - pagan dominated - self-focused - wealth enhanced - battleground between the sexes - marriage and family destroying - culture that sadly today is not too hard to imagine.  A lot of what Paul is writing to Timothy about is a warning because that culture was invading the church.

Satan loves to get us focused on any thing or anyone other than God and what God has for us.  Paul is trying to help younger widows avoid falling into Satan’s hands.  According to verse 15 - some of them already have. 

So, rather than getting on a list as a widow and having the opportunity to get into trouble, Paul says get married.  Which is a good thing.  Get yourself into the kind of godly relationship and responsibility that’s available to you and that’s going to keep you focused on what God has for you and keep you faithfully living for God.

Paul goes on with his solution in verse 16:  If any believing woman has relatives who are widows, let her care for them.  Let the church not be burdened, so that it may care for those who are truly widows.

Some women in the church - maybe some younger widows - had the means to care for other widows.  Paul encourages them - if God gives you the means - rather than focusing on yourself and getting yourself into trouble with those means - rather than draining the congregation’s resources - rather than expecting others to step up to do what God has called and enabled you to do - use what God has blessed you with to help a less fortunate widow.

Processing all that - thinking through what all this can mean for us today - the verse we past by - in verse 8 Paul writes:  But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.   

That’s Paul’s challenge to biological families and the family of God - the church.  That’s a harsh verse to hear.  But brutally and helpfully honest.  How we care for each other as generations in Jesus demonstrates the reality of His gospel in our lives.  It’s what a healthy does. 

Looking at what Paul writes and to whom he’s writing.

First:  Caring for widows was intentional.

As a ministry it was organized - with qualifications and expectations - it had a membership - a budget - a committee to oversee it.

There’s a lot of caring in this congregation - more than just “liking” something on Facebook.  Cards - emails - are sent.  Visits are made.  Phone calls.  Small works of behind-the-scenes service that very few people know about.  Prayers are said.  Financial assistance is given.  Food, clothing, furniture.  Sharing with those in need.

Then there’s the big picture of intergenerational relationships.  Respecting older men.  Seeing younger men as brothers - younger women as sisters - older women as mothers.   That kind of intergenerational - interpersonal - caring needs to be intentional.

Look around here:  Seniors and youth that actually talk to each other.  Are engaged together in ministry.  The AWANA Team - or VBS - or Children’s Worship - that’s multigenerational.  On Sundays - in the booth in the back - up here singing - playing instruments.  Older people and younger people - you can decide which you are.  But doing all that together.

That’s what Paul is talking about - a purposeful - planned effort to care for - to honor - to respect - others in the Body of Christ.  Not just pastors.  But all of us as siblings in Jesus.  Everyone has this opportunity to choose to be in these kinds of caring relationships.

Church you are doing God’s ministry when you genuinely care for one another - when you “provide for your own” in God’s “household.”  Generations serving side by side in God’s ministry. 

The challenge is to not go sideways - to plateau - to miss opportunities.  But to examine how we’re doing in that - as families - as a congregation - how are we doing?  And prayerfully to seek what God may show us as to how to be even more engaged in each other’s lives.

Second:  Caring for widows was counter culture.

The family unit - ma, pa, and siblings that are related biologically to each other and their parents who are still married to each other - all that is a rarity these days.  And foundational to why our society is coming apart a the seams.  The kind of caring that should take place in those family relationships is sadly lacking to the point where people long for it but have no idea where to find it.

Jesus was overwhelmed with compassion whenever He came across people who were sick and blind and oppressed and helpless.  He entered into their pain - was moved to action - gave comfort and healing.  Jesus - who impacted His society with God’s love - called on His disciples to do the same. (John 13:25)

The purpose of the Church - our calling together - is to penetrate the world with the Gospel of Jesus Christ - to display the character of God to the world - for His glory.  No where is the reality of the Gospel more clearly demonstrated - more counter culture needed - than when the followers of Jesus Christ express the love of God to others - within the congregation - and to those around us who need to know Jesus’ love.

When we care for others we show Jesus to the world.

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Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®  (ESV®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.  Used by permission.  All rights reserved.